Monday, February 28, 2011

An Answer for Mary

These are things that individuals can do to help the environment. Firstly, people can switch off all the lights and fans in the house when there is no body using it. This will help to save energy and electricity. Secondly, people can save the trees by using less tissues. For example, I will split my tissue paper into 3 pieces to use. Usually I will use tissue to wipe my mouth after meal; therefore I think a thin piece of tissue is enough. Thirdly, one can bathe quickly and use less water so that it will save water and energy. Lastly, planting trees outside the house can also help to save the environment. For instance, I will not cut the tree outside my house so that the temperature in my house will be lower and I can save energy for not using the air-conditional. Today's wastage is tomorrows shortage so start now saving the earth for tomorrow before it is too late.

- Angeline -

2 comments:

  1. Hi Angeline

    This is good. You have linked your ideas well and clearly shown the reader when you are moving on to a new point.

    Be careful that you answer the question. Your topic sentence should be that these are things that inviduals can do to help the environment - as opposed to companies and governments.

    Avoid using 'I' (first person) for this kind of writing. The question is about individuals so you need to write more generally. For example: People can switch off all the lights and fans in their houses when they aren't at home. It is okay to use personal experience for your examples though, just not for main points.

    Another thing that can make this a stronger paragraph is to have a concluding sentence. This should summarise the ideas, give your opinion, or make a prediction. For example, you could finish this paragraph with: If everyone makes some small changes, collectively we can make a big difference and ensure the survival of our environment for future generations.

    What is your idea about photocopying doing there? You have put it in there after your last point!

    Why don't you try editing this and making a few changes.

    Thanks for using the blog. We really like your contributions.

    Mary

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