Electronic devices such as computer is very important recently. The pace of life nowadays, require us from using computer due to time saving. Why is it essential in our life?
Firstly, with internet we can receive and reply letter within one to two hours compared to mail. People can get feed back quickly through them. We also can make online banking to pay our household bills without go to the bank. This can save plenty of times. Moreover, a lot of information we can get easily from internet. For instance, people can access updated news around the world as well as the latest products selling in the market.
On the other hand, there are several drawbacks using computer. First of all, students will copy their assignments directly from internet. This habit becomes serious among students especially at the university. They can be terminated due to plagiarism. Furthermore, students also tend to make a lot of spelling mistakes in exams. This is because, computer can correct spelling automatically. Some of people also become addict to internet. Application such as facebook, twitter and games would make them immobile.
On the whole, plenty of work can be done using computer. It is also a device that make us very convenient. However, we must know the limit and control ourself when using computer. Otherwise, a problem will be occured if we misused it.
Hello guys, well, seem this course is about writing, so i'm doing more writing to improve it. Any comments from you all especially Emma are most welcome. Bye, have a great weekend...
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Sifa,
ReplyDelete'terminated' is a bit strong! They're not that strict at university! I think 'expelled' is the correct word.
The grammar is better in this one - well done.
I like your use of the 4 paragraphs and the links in your arguments.
Have a look at passive tenses
'become addict'
'will be occured'
An easier thing to check is your use of singular and plural and the effect on SVA.
See you in class.
Emma
Thanks you so much! it's incredible :D i like this ! :D
ReplyDeleteVery informative and well written post! Quite interesting and nice topic chosen for the post.
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Very informative and organised.
ReplyDeleteSome things you can maybe work on is the level of detail in your writing. For instance, when you compared emails to mails, you merely stated that "we can receive and reply letter within one to two hours compared to mail”. However, you did not specify how much longer and how much more troublesome mailing can be. Additionally, email is also much safer compared to mailing. This is so, as email’s can simply be send with a click ,and you would have been able to successfully relay your information. Howbeit, when mailing, every now and then your mails could go missing and who knows that may conceivably be some crucial information. Also “feed back” is one word. Other than that, our following paragraphs are all very good. *Trust my feedback at your own risk, I am not by any means a certified teacher or writer, I am merely writing what was at the top of my head when I saw your post.*