Me Personal Statement - Angeline

Angeline, good to see you using the blog. Sorry, the comments button not working so I'm posting a new blog for you!

You've paragraphed well and sorted your information sensibly. However, think about what kind of information you want to tell them. First and foremost, you need to SELL yourself for this course. So all the things that you have done that will help you on the course should be given more importance, such as your ballet, piano and rhythmic gymnastics because these are performing arts. Your achievements in these show that you can perform well in front of others and be disciplined and committed enough to practise so that you succeed, despite what you say in your first 2 paragraphs!

There's no need to say what the course covers as they know their course but you could say which parts of the course interest you the most and why.

It would be much better to start with something positive in your personal statement. 'An introverted person' has negative connotations. Mention some of your positive characteristics and give examples of things you have done that demonstrate these.

You could say that you successfully made a short clip and found it really satisfying and that now you would like to challenge yourself further by making better and more complicated short movies. If you say 'I tried' it sounds like you didn't do it very well!

The phrase you need is, 'I know that if I don't apply for this course, I will regret it for the rest of my life.'

I like your idea about using arts to change people's moods, move them and stir their emotions, and to connect with people. Perhaps I wouldn't have mentioned tears - again they have negative connotations.

It's good to mention your future plans. How about linking them more to the course, such as moving abroad to explore how artistic genres compare in different countries?

I'm sure you have a lot of great things to say about what you have done and your character. You need to be really positive and confident and sell yourself more.

If you fancy doing a redraft, I'll have a look at it for you.

See you in class!
Emma